A list of Things on a Thing is a list of unique IDs. Each thing is only loaded if it is references.
Hard limit 10,000, don’t use above 100 if you can help it. Lists can become hard to manage because of race conditions too - if in doubt, err towards Do a search rather than Thing’s list.
Difficult to say but you’ll find out using the network tab of your browser’s dev tools to see exactly what data is returned. I believe that :group by on a list will download all of the items, but Do a search:group by will return only the groupings/aggregations which is more efficient. You can test it yourself