I also love the backend part of development and I was always bothered by my lack of design chops. I’ve browsed around for courses to learn the basics, but never pulled the trigger.
Once I bumped into the videos of Refactoring UI. I liked the way he talked through what he was thinking. I started to understand the framework that he used. I ended up getting the book and all the extra perks. I loooove the color palettes.
If it is an option to invest into your design skills, this could be an option.