Welp, it seems I either nuked vertical stretch or didn’t have it set and didn’t notice, @chris.williamson1996. LMK if you want a gratis copy of Floppy (PM me the app id and I’ll authorize it for you).
Edit: I still don’t think I’m totally crazy and I feel like this is a setting that mighta gotten messed up by the beta editor, but also I suppose I might have even clicked it on video in my demo while being a fat-fingered chucklefudge and y’all (I’m looking at you, @mikeloc) are pointing at me and jeering.