is there a way/plugin that would let users dm each other privately by clicking a button that says DM on there profile page
This is something pretty easily built without a plugin. Have you gone through the tutorials?
no which ones should i look at
The lessons titled “Saving data”, “Saving and modifying data”, and “Using conditions on elements and workflows” found on https://bubble.io/documentation under “Lessons” would be helpful for what you are trying to accomplish.